Crashed


[Ixander turns the garden shed into a crater and scrap.] -01:23 Feb 23
[Piper is having some… brownies… and trying to do her homework when she hears a very ominous crash!] -01:26 Feb 23
[Seir totally won that fight. And he’s sticking to that story.] -01:26 Feb 23
Piper: Her glass of milk nearly spilled all over her paperwork. At first she thought someone might’ve had a car crash out front, but on inspection, no cars were to be seen. So, she was stalking to the back of the house to see if the neighbors dog had knocked over the grill again. -01:28 Feb 23
Ixander: He got to his hands and knees in the crater his entire body wracked with pain but his teeth set as he fought through it to stand unsteadily raising a hand to shield his eyes from the sun… "I’m not done yet, W….." What is this place? -01:29 Feb 23
Seir: Seir growled as he pushed himself up from the pile of rubble, shaking debris from his wings and hair. Unlike his celestial adversary, he knew exactly where he was. And he didn’t much like it. "What are you gawking at, sparky? I’m over here." -01:33 Feb 23
Piper: Imagine her surprise when she peeked out her back door window to spot people there instead of a dog. Grumbling under her breath she stalking away briefly, just long enough to grab a golf club, and returned to the back door. Swinging it open, she was marching outside to defend her parent’s property. "Hey..! You two bums, what the hell are you doing in my back yard?!" She paused, squinted, and looked appalled. "….what did you do to the shed..!?" -01:36 Feb 23
Ixander: He turned to the demon the nickname making him clench his fist briefly. But he couldn’t reply before they were interupted by a mortal.. or was that a mortal? It looked like one but… "Fear not." he said before turning to Sier. "Is this your idea of a joke? Bringing me here" -01:38 Feb 23
Seir: "Me? This is obviously your fault somehow! And you sound like an idiot! ‘Fear not’? That’s the best you can do?" Angels. God were they dumb. More importantly, though… Why the fuck were they material? -01:42 Feb 23
Piper: Piper mouthed ‘fear not’ like it was some sort of foreign phrase she didn’t understand. Now that she was standing out there, golf club in hand, and finally getting a good look at them. …she was wondering if she was having a bad reaction to those brownies, or if they had just came trolling out of a local frat house costume party. "What’s with the wings? Hell – get out of my yard before I bash your faces in!" -01:50 Feb 23
[Ixander has timed out.] -02:20 Feb 23
[Ixander enters.] -02:37 Feb 23
Ixander: "MY FAULT?" he yelled. "Do you know what the penalty is for me even being here?" he was ignoring the mortal in his frustration at his attacker. "Over an above what I get for being near…. you and your lack of tradition. Now…" he turned to Piper. "Where exactly are we in the mortal world?" -02:41 Feb 23
Seir: "I damn sure didn’t plan this! Screw it, I’m going home." Seir focused on sinking back to hell rather than stand here with the lameass celestial. He’d be going soon… Any time now… Annnny time… -02:47 Feb 23
Piper: "In my backyard, of which I want you OUT of..!" What a couple of weirdos. They spent way too much time on those costumes… Piper prodded at the devil one with her golf club. "Stop standing there look stupid. How drunk ARE you?" -02:47 Feb 23
Ixander: He stood there and crossed his arms. "And I’ll be glad to be rid of you infernal." he grinned waiting for the demon to disappear so he could return to his own plane after apologising to the mortal. -02:50 Feb 23
Seir: "I’m not drunk, lady," he shot back, furrowing his brow… and his wings promptly fizzled up in a burst of smoke and brimstone. Stunned, he fell back into the remnants of the garden shed. "Fuck!" -02:51 Feb 23
Piper: That was some serious special effects. Piper narrowed her eyes. …Nope, wings totally gone in a puff of smoke. "Huh… gotta lay off the brownies…" She was back to raising that golf club menacingly. "Drunk, not drunk, poofies, whatever! You guys owe me about 200 bucks and I want you out of my backyard! Back to…whereever… you came from!" -02:53 Feb 23
Ixander: "I’m sorry for your shed, I’ll make it up to you if I can." he said shootign another grin at the demon and spreading his fings, beathign them adn rising up.. before ther disappeared in a cloud of feathers and he fell to the ground thith a thud" -02:54 Feb 23
Seir: His scowl turned to a toothy grin when he noticed the angel’s plight. If he was stuck like this, at least he could take solace in the idea that so was Chuckles over here. "Heh. Who’s laughing now, errandboy?" -02:57 Feb 23
Piper: Down went the other one too. …Maybe she was having some weird dream after an overdose on homework? …Either way, she wasn’t just going to let them tear things up. Grumbling quite loudly, she closed the distance, kicking at both them and prodding at them with the club. "I’m you both think this is hilarious – but I have wooork to do! Get up, get out! Go home. Poof, vanish, mush! Or I’mma break -both- your legs!" -03:00 Feb 23
Ixander: "Funny." He said pullign himself away from the furious mortal. "I just tried to go home." he looked to the demon again blaming him for his situation "Very funny… Now, please girl…" it was all he could do to keep her prods away from his head. "… stop that so I can get answers from smiley here." -03:04 Feb 23
Seir: "Don’t look at me, nimrod! How could I be stopping you from going back to the pearly gates?" He dodged a swipe from the golf club. "You probably burnt your stupid ass out!" Of course, so had he. But this angel didn’t seem too bright, so he wasn’t about to tell him straight out. -03:10 Feb 23
Piper: "God damn, this is like thos edreams where you’re trying to run but you’re never moving!" Piper was sure she had to have clocked both of them pretty hard. Either she had a shitty swing, or they could really take some damage! A defeated look came across her features when she stopped swinging to take a breath. " …Wait.! Aaah, how about a call you a TAXI? You’re both obviously too trashed to walk your asses out of my yard…" -03:13 Feb 23
Ixander: "A what?" he was confused but she was offering to help. "I am Ixander… a messenger from the celestial planes." he sighed hating to have to admirt it in front of the demon "I can’t get back… I hate to ask but can you help?" -03:16 Feb 23
Seir: "Ha! I knew it! You’re just a little drone!" Seir chortled. The angel was obviously having his Earth cherry popped, to boot. He didn’t even know what a taxi was! How sheltered did Heaven keep these guys? "Look, sweetheart, I told you. Not drunk. I’m not, anyway; flyboy here might be another story." -03:19 Feb 23
Piper: "He’s an earth virgin?" Not that Piper believed that whole ‘celestial messenger’ thing. But she was willing to roll with this whole hallucination and ride it out until they got out of her head. What’s the worse that could happen? "Just… get up and get in the house before my neighbors catch me out here talking to myself and call the cops. And my name is PIPER." She told the devil one specifically, with an extra prod of her club. -03:23 Feb 23
Ixander: "Still gave you a thrashing." he snapped before heading for the door. "Thank you Piper." He entred and immediatly looked aroung at the collection ot strange thing and heading for on of the few he recognised… a chair. -03:27 Feb 23
Seir: "Someone’s on their period." While he was here, he might as well stick around. Maybe he could figure out how to get one over on the angel and get himself back home while he was at it. He snickered when he noticed his more heavenly counterpart was looking at the furniture as if it were about to bite him in the ass. "Yeah, thanks, dollface. Although you really should be kicking this douchebag out on the streets." -03:31 Feb 23
Piper: She was going to ignore the devil one. Clearly that was her dark side coming out and wanting a kick to the ass. …Of course, the angel one must be her inevitable stupidity if she didn’t get enough studying in. Once inside she pulled that plate of brownies out of grabbing reach, and went for the phone. "Uh huh.. now where do you both belong so I can call the right cab service?" -03:36 Feb 23
Ixander: He was turning Piper’s phone over in his hands inquisitively. "I beling in heaven, I have important work to do there and now I’m stuck here…" he put down the phone and sighed as the situation sunk in. "You don’t have a service that can get me back there do you?" He looked at Piper, she wasn’t a priestess, obviously but maybe she knew someone in the clergy who could send him back. -03:42 Feb 23
Seir: "Drippy, you should quit while you’re ahead. You’re embarrassing yourself." Seir sidled up to Piper. "I’m pretty sure you’re not going anywhere until you get back some of that energy you blew tangoing with me. Too bad. I bet you don’t know how to do that, do you?" he asked smugly. -03:46 Feb 23
Piper: Piper rubbed her head. This was slowly creeping to her top ten in weird moments. She stepped a few inches away from the devil. "Taxis don’t tend to drive to heaven." she muttered. Roll with it! That’s what she decided on, right? "…hoookay, since I’m clearly trippin’ on something. Hooow about you guys just hang around here being all mysterious and then fly away home in the morning? On the condition that I can actually get my studying done without anything else getting broken…" -03:49 Feb 23
Ixander: "I notice you havn’t left" he said to Seir. "If I need energy getting it will be easy… so I will leave you in pease once out friend goes back to where he belongs.. if he can." -03:53 Feb 23
Seir: "Nah, I’m good. I’ll leave eventually." He slapped Piper’s ass with a resounding thwack. "I think I like it here." -03:56 Feb 23
Piper: She stiffened, and though her first instinct was to swing the club at him, she refrained from first degree murder. "FIRST RULE…" she said good and loud. "None of that shit..! Paws off Piper. Second rule, don’t break anything. In fact, if you haven’t vanished in the morning, like I am pretty sure you will, I want my shed fixed." Piper was sure she’d need a few more rules, but this shouldn’t last any longer than an evening. -03:58 Feb 23
Ixander: "You infernals are all alike." he mutteres under Piper’s rules. "Then at least I’ll be here to make sure you don’t do anything to the mortals here. Thats right as lng as you’re here I’m here even if I can leave." -04:01 Feb 23
Seir: "Bring it on, feathers-for-brains." Seir gave Piper a sidelong grin. He wasn’t agreeing to any rules. Demons? Rules? Pssh. "Name’s Seir, by the way. So you know what to moan." -04:05 Feb 23
Piper: "That’s great. My evil side is a lecher and my good side is a moron… No wonder I’m boned in all my classes." Piper scowled at them both. Why couldn’t she have COOL hallucinations? She plopped in to one of the chairs at the table where her homework and books were still sitting. "Fine! Stick around, but at least be useful! I have to finish this work tonight." -04:08 Feb 23
Ixander: He was going to say more but there was a growling from inside his abdomen combined with a sensation he had never felt before and he frowned, confused. What was this feeling? "I will not botehr you then…" there it was again… his eyes narrowed as he looked at Sier. -04:15 Feb 23
Seir: The angel was staring at him. Seir arched an eyebrow. "What?" -04:18 Feb 23
Piper: Piper had a pencil in hand and was really, -really- trying to focus. Didn’t stop her from glancing up at the two of them warily and hoping they would vanish already. At least they looked like normal people now and weren’t sporting wings! -04:19 Feb 23
Ixander: The feeling was acompanied by the urge to eat, something he had only ever done for taste.. as strong urge… "You flatter yourself." he wasn’t going to give the demon the satisfaction, but there was a nice smell… uninvited he pulled the plate closer and lifted one of the small brown cakes on it and slowly took a bite. -04:22 Feb 23
Piper: She was scribbling away until she heard the plate skid across the table. …and she was too late. Her hallucitation was eating her special brownies. Piper dropped her pencil and stared. "Uh… you.. um. Hell." It couldn’t hurt, right? He’ll probably get sleepy and disappear faster! "Help yourself, I guess…" -04:30 Feb 23
Seir: Seir opened his mouth as he reached for a brownie himself… and then paused. That smell was one he was familiar with, from hanging out at college dorms full of kids ripe for tempting. He bit his lip to stifle a laugh. "Oh boy. Don’t let me stop you, blondy." This was going to be good. -04:31 Feb 23
Ixander: He didn’t stop at one and ate another, then half of a third… then stopped and looked down at the plate. Mortal food didn’t seem to be agree with him. "What..?" He took another bite they were good even if they made him feel like to was foating. "Mortal food is… Wait…" Seir was grinning.. this couldn’t be good. -04:39 Feb 23
Piper: "That’s not the typical mortal food. …all though I guess I am going to have to make some in about thirty minutes…" He scarfed those down like he was starving! Could inner selves get high too? G’damned, she needs to pick better calm-me-downs than brownies for studying. "Why’d you let him eat all of those!" -04:41 Feb 23
Seir: "Why not? This is going to be hilarious." He plopped down on her sofa, propping his chin in his hands and watching avidly. Wonder what pot does to an angel? This is too good to be true. -04:43 Feb 23
Ixander: "You knew?" But that didn’t seem important, what did was that he was on earth and it was for the first time and he had met his firts mortal… and his first demon. They should be buddies. Or at least do something. "Ever wanted to go to the moon?" he asked Piper. "Sier and I could take you there and we could do stuff… Hey Sier.." wait he didn’t like sier right? Why? "Demon, we should go to the moon!" -04:50 Feb 23
Piper: "People can’t breath on the moon. …I’m going to make you some coffee." Piper cast the devil a glare from the kitchen, and was already shifting to fill a coffeepot up with water. "Besides, you can’t…. can’t really take someone to the moon without wings, right?" -04:52 Feb 23
Seir: "He’s so high," laughed Seir. Because he didn’t giggle. He laughed. "I have GOT to get you drunk sometime and see if it’s this fun." -04:56 Feb 23
Ixander: "So neigher of you want to go…" he put the unfinished brownie down on the plate with the others and stood "My wing… he reached back over his shoulder… oh right we’re stuch here." he doidn’t place emphasis on the ‘we’ like it was a snide remark. "Also I don’t think a celestial being would get drunk…" -04:59 Feb 23
Piper: "No one is getting drunk! I do stupid things when I’m drunk… I can’t even imagine.." Yeah, she could imagined what her lecherous self and her moron self would do while drunk! It’d be just like that one Mardi Gras party. Piper didn’t want to do that again. She set the coffee brewing and turned back to nudge that Angel back to his chair before he started getting curious. "How ’bout you just have a seat here and think about homework?" -05:03 Feb 23
[Ixander is tripping balls] -05:25 Feb 23
[Ixander has timed out.] -05:33 Feb 23
Ixander: "Homework?" he looked at the books and as he sat pulled one towards himself catching the pen that roled with it… "This is all wrong…" he said and began crossing out phrases. "The anchien astronaughts weren’t angels we only came… Wait what century is it?" -05:33 Feb 23
Piper: "….2012." she responded flatly, leaning on her palms over the table to read what disaster he was scribbling all over her homework. That was her essay paper…! Hmm. If her hallucination was doing her homework for her, this wasn’t too bad at all! "I was trying to disprove religious theory, and explain that ancient astronaunts and alien visitors made MUCH more sense." -05:37 Feb 23
Seir: "Sorry, darling, but you got that waaaay wrong." Homework? Now this was boring. No way was he going to let this keep up. He’d have to find ways to liven things up. Jumping up from the couch, he went to rummage through the fridge. Bingo! Booze. -05:41 Feb 23
Ixander: "Well its wrong.." he insisted ignoring the demon. "If you want proof I’m an angel and I’m right in front of… wait there was a light in the box. Abandoning the homeword he stood and looked the the fridge. "What is that?" -05:44 Feb 23
Piper: "It’s a theory, you can’t just decide it’s right or wrong with -actual- proof. …And you’re not much of proof." There he went abandoning her work. Damn! She’d have to do it anyway. Piper sat on the table and picked up her pen. "And that’s a fridge… I mean seriously, you HAVE to know what a fridge is!" -05:47 Feb 23
Seir: "It’s a magical cold box," answered Seir, not missing a beat. "Look, it even has juice." He plucked up a bottle of beer and dangled it in front of Ixander’s nose. "Thirsty?" -05:48 Feb 23
Ixander: "Ithought there was coffee.." he said calking towars the fridge and looking inside. "I didn’t knink mortals had magic, just… metal things." -05:51 Feb 23
Piper: "It’s not magic, it’s science." Coffee! Piper almost forget. Not realizing that devil was serving up beer, she hopped off her table to pull a mug out of a cabinet. -05:53 Feb 23
Seir: "I don’t think airhead here knows what science is, babe." He popped the cap off the bottle with his nails and handed it to Ixander. "Here you go. Drink up." -05:56 Feb 23
Ixander: His throat was feeling dry after the brownies and hey juice was juice right? "You’re nice." he told Seir before taking a bog gulp of beer and almost spluttering with the fizz of it. Then came a large burp and more of it poared down his throat. -05:59 Feb 23
Piper: Piper poured a cup of coffee and then turned around. …only to find an angel chugging a beer. "Wait, wait wait wait waaaait. Is he supposed to drink that?" -06:02 Feb 23
Seir: "Probably not!" Seir pulled one out for himself, clinking it against Ixander’s. "You’re not half bad when you’re baked. Or rather, not half good." -06:04 Feb 23
Ixander: Everythign was feeling five time worse with the juice. "Are you sure this is juice?" he asked before laughing late at the joke. The feelling began creeping into the base of his skull and he shook his head.. then drank more almost finishing the bottle. "You know you’re not half good yourself.." he said "Though I guess you’re no good and thats a compliment." -06:08 Feb 23
Piper: Piper didn’t know what to do here. Dealing with her own craziness wasn’t… a typical day! She quickly moved across the kitchen and snatched the Angel’s bottle away. She handed him the mug of coffee instead. "Drink this! It’s better. You just stay out of those other bottles. And don’t YOU give him any more." Piper turned around to glare at the devil. "What are you trying to do, anyway? Ruin my entire night?" -06:11 Feb 23
Seir: "I’m just trying to have a little fun here, toots." He took a swig of his beer, then offered it to her. "You seem like you could use a little loosening up, yourself." -06:21 Feb 23
Ixander: He felt bad, really bad.. and the otheres were arguing, which was bad. the the mug was hot, and the coffie hotter when he gulled it, which was bad. He placed the mug on the counter and full of pot, booze and not cafien in his viens a slight grin crept on his face as he leaned agaist the demon his hand sliding down Seir’s abck to grip his buttock. "He has a point… you history might me flawed but so might you be… floored." -06:25 Feb 23

TO BE CONTINUED…! -Piper


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